Finding Mutual Goals
When a relationship ends, it is often because the couple could not find goals they could both agree to pursue. This may not seem like a large issue, but it is overwhelming in many relationships. If one person wants to save to buy a house without a mortgage, it requires sacrifice on the part of both partners. If the other person believes they should finance their purchase, sacrificing to save money will be resented. Each person will be fighting the other on this issue. They may do things that will permanently damage the relationship.
There are generally some issues where a couple will never agree. Many of these issues are small and can be set aside by the partners. Large issues and decisions are what matter the most. A couple must learn to establish their mutual goals and work together to achieve them. Only by working as a team will they be able to accomplish and satisfy their needs in life and continue in a healthy relationship.
Not all couples will have completely mutual goals. This is not uncommon, and it can still make for a good relationship. One person may want to settle down and buy a home. The other person may wish to return to school for a better career. The couple can work together to achieve both goals as a team. This gives each person in the relationship a way to get what they want while assisting their partner. Both must make a commitment to help their partner succeed.
Relationships are often a balance between the wants and needs of both people. Establishing goals is one way to find the necessary balance. Even if the couple has wildly different goals, agreement to help each other achieve them is the true goal in a successful relationship.